I have been through a lot, I have healed a lot, through many different paths. I simply like to share about that.
During my healing, I develop powers within me, that continue to blow my mind:
I dropped many personal habits and patterns, grew from fear to vulnerability to transparency, discovered respecting myself and setting boundaries, brought my physical health to a new level, attracted situations that were unimaginable, healed many traumas of my childhood full of abuse, easily connected with new people, simply found more joy in life, increased self love, slept better and got more energy, increased self-healing capabilities of my body, was able to open my closed heart, became more realistic and effective in what I want, and much, much more.
For a lot of people, it is challenging to relate to the above summary: It can quickly become a repetitive, meaningless list. Or, it is associated with some theories on emotional development, becoming a mental exercise. Another misunderstanding is relating it with incremental progress in life, on how people usually grow. Sometimes the above list makes some sense, but it is hard to imagine how to get there. The biggest challenge is when people have made substantial progress in several areas, but blind spots in other areas imprison their further growth: having lost hope in deeper progress.
Any of that is an unfortunate shame, because a huge opportunity remains unused. To get this opportunity understood, it is not about finding the right words to explain the right concepts in some specific order. It is about finding a way in which you can really feel what this opportunity is all about.
And to feel, I will try to find my way, to you: I want to go all in by writing on what personal transformation truly means to me. I want to share with you my deepest fears, hate, humiliation, courage, trust, surprises, victories, and stories of power and dignity.
Uncensored.
It is about waking up in a real life nightmare, and calling in my deepest powers to start moving something that is utterly stuck. How I repeatedly was challenged to fully accept were I currently am, to let any situation work through me. Eventually, courage and persistence helped me trough many paths: To get me back alive again.
I do not necessarily encourage you to create your own real life nightmare in order to transform. I just want to describe how I got life working for me. I discovered bit by bit, that I am not my past, but my reactions to it, and that I can transform them in many layers: giving me freedom to start responding to what happens in the present, becoming truly alive. And the immense joy and satisfaction it gives. Only in writing about that, I have some chance of creating a website that becomes alive as well, so you can feel this opportunity.
Adding to this, I will be sharing intimate details about my personal life. This has two reasons:
Firstly, when I was unaware and unalive, I often wondered how people lived being alive. How did they talk to each other about their thoughts and emotions, and which things are important for them to make decisions, and why? How would they reflect on their success&flaws and those of others, and go after what they want? I found by my own experience that if you live on the lower level of the emotional spectrum, it just is hard to get around alive people that inspire you. I want to share my inner world, in a way that would have been useful to me, when I started my journey.
Secondly, in the field of emotional development, there is an overload of coaches/therapists/whatever that are keen on sharing images of success. Their instagrams are full of spiritual memes and quoting all kinds of gurus. But they share little of themselves, let alone something vulnerable. And if they share something vulnerable, it frequently is calculated, by the mind. I want to break this pattern, by sharing about my insecurities and perceived failures, also the ones I do not yet have an answer to. Life happens inside of each of us, and I like to keep on living, as authentically as I can.
I also want to write about the methodologies I have used, including the ones for physical health. I have spent 250+ days in trainings of many transformational schools, and received 350+ therapy sessions of many kinds. I want to describe how they complement my process, next to the many other practices that I explored on my own.
Through this writing, I want to illustrate what really matters in personal transformation: how totally different methodologies actually relate, what essential perspectives are often forgotten, and how to turn courage into results.
The closer you move to truth, clarity and necessity for restoring balance automatically grows. And out of necessity, courage is easily born. Courage gives way to feeling what is, acceptance of what is, and by that enabling your built-in automatic process to transform.
It is my wish, that through sharing my map of personal transformation, it can help you to expand your own map: Hoping your next stepping stone moves a bit closer to you.
The sky is the limit, if you choose to learn how to fly.
When elevating your life, the first best thing to do is wanting to elevate your life. The second best thing is getting inspired on how to elevate your life. When you want to get inspired, the first best thing to do is exploring to act on your intuition. The second best thing is discovering how other people elevated their life.
todo
- change the perception of accepted behavior, instead of feeding a society that looks only from the outside, I want to stimulate depth, transparency, vulnerability and courage. So if I would be twenty again, and stumble upon this site, I would maybe believe that I am actually beautiful, and so is everyone else.